Strings Woodwinds Flute/ Piccolo Jokes Oboe/ Bassoon Jokes Clarinet Jokes Saxophone Jokes Brass Trumpet Jokes Trombone Jokes French Horn Jokes Tuba Jokes Percussion Percussionist Jokes Bodhran Jokes Vocal Folk/ Rock/ Popular Music and Instruments General Acknowledgement These jokes are a continually-growing collection, and unfortunately, I can no longer remember which jokes I heard from whom. If you have ever told, emailed, or otherwise communicated to me a music joke, thank you. Strings Violin Jokes What's the difference between a violin and a viola? There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger. What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? A fiddle is fun to listen to. Why are viola jokes so short? So violinists can understand them. How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog? The dog knows when to stop scratching. How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't get up that high! String players' motto: It's better to be sharp than out of tune. Why is a violinist like a SCUD missile? Both are offensive and inaccurate. Why don't viola players suffer from piles (hæmorrhoids)? Because all the assholes are in the first violin section. What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin? No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle. Why do violinists put a cloth between their chin and their instrument? Violins don't have spit valves. Why should you never try to drive a roof nail with a violin? You might bend the nail. A violinist says to his wife, Oh, baby, I can play you just like my violin. His wife replies, I'd rather have you play me like a harmonica! Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert. There's not much room on this page, he said. What shall I write? Another violinist, standing by.
PHOTO GALLERY In this section I will exhibit selected photographs of Bix Beiderbecke and related subjects. I will have portraits, photos of Bix with fellow musicians and friends, programs of concerts and dances, and miscellaneous images. Some of the images were scanned at high resolution and may take a minute or more to download. The images were obtained through the generosity of several individuals. I am grateful to Susan Atherton, Dave Bartholomew, Rickey Bauchelle, Michael Bezin, Scott Black, Enrico Borsetti, Brownie, Sergio Calve, Nick Dellow, Hans Eekhoff, Joe Giordano, Frank Hagenbuch, Stephen Hester, Rich Johnson, Michael Kieffer, David Logue, Veniero Molari, Randy Skretvedt, Rob Rothberg, Will Severns, Mike Schultz, William Trumbauer, John Vincent, Frederick C. Wiebel, Jr. and Jerry Zolten for providing many of the images and for kindly giving me permission to exhibit them in the present gallery. I will acknowledge their individual contributions by adding their initials after the title of the image. Unless stated otherwise, I am responsible for all the text associated with the images. Photographs Beiderbecke Family Cemetery Plot. Bix in Bix Mural Bix's Grandparents House Bix's House Bix's Last Residence The Last Photograph of Bix? Bix's Signature Bix's Cousin - Werner von Binzer Bix's Father in First Car in Davenport Bix in Tyler School Bing Crosby and Eddie Lang Bing Crosby and Eddie Lang Jean Goldkette and His Orchestra, 1924? 1925? Jean Goldkette and His Orchestra, Jean Goldkette and His Orchestra, late 1924 or early Jean Goldkette and His Orchestra, Don Murray and Jimmy Dorsey; part of the Goldkette sax section.
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